It wasn't a good day

Haizzzz...I woke up this morning...still feeling exhausted...I'm tired of my own life...I always ask myself, "I'm just an ordinary person,why must I live in this complicated world???" I don't understand,why other people can live happily,but i can't???This is not the life I want...I'm facing plenty of problems, and i don't know how to solve it...I rather become a LEMON, as what my friend call me...becoming a lemon, is much more happier. I don't need to face so much problem. And no worries. Living in this world, will just make me feel more tiresome...I don't feel like living here, but i have to. Maybe God wanted to train me, i don't know. I'm trying to make myself happy, but it doesn't works as what I think. It will just make me feel more disgusted. Today I accidently heard something from my mum,"everyone does have problem, it's just the matter on how you solve it." I agreed with it, but I still can't apply it. I hate crying, seriously. I don't like people who cry, and I don't like myself cry too. Whenever I cry, I must be facing a BIG,BIG problem...I admit that I'm emo. But without all this problem, I swear I won't. As for sure, I wanna be a cheerful girl, FOREVER. But can I??? Ohhhh,safe me!!!! I wanna leave this place, I wanna forget the past. I hurt those who used to love me. I'm so sorry, I do not have the intention to hurt you. Please forgive me, I'm soooooo sorry. I love you...forever...and ever...No one could understand me, even my best friend can't. Only God could help me. Although i really wanna leave this place, but I swear I'll still stay here. There's still plenty of things I wanna do. Before I go, I just wanna give a big hug to those who love me, and those that I love. I'm a girl that is so dangerous, those who come near me will surely get hurt. Until now, I still can't find a friend that I really trust. God is only friend that I really trust. Only you...